IM HERE, IM QUEER, AND IM full of existential fear
Holy. Crap. I just found an email argument between me and some random internet person about evolution and creationism. Apparently I thought this was important enough to print out and save for TWENTY YEARS!!!
Cannot tell you how many times I’ve been on the phone with Hank and it’s clear he isn’t listening and then I say you’re not listening and then he says, “Hold on someone on the Internet is wrong about something.”
You just got reblogged and commented on by John Green! Be honored !
He’s…he’s my brother…
Times Tumblr Raised Serious Questions About “Harry Potter”
lily evans running into class late and out of breath and saying “sorry im late i was… doing stuff.” james potter swaggering in after her and saying “im
just got back from the vet. you guys know what my dumb dog did?
he sprained his tail. from wagging it too hard. this is the stupidest thing.
idk about u but if i was a demon and saw a bunch of people trying to contact spirits with a board i would fucking jump on that shit so whether or not its initial purpose was to talk to ur dead grandma or not it still became that way and now we go motherfuckers talking to demons thinking its their aunt susan
viagra was originally used for treatment for hypertension but then bam! erections. ouija boards are the viagra of the board game world
misconceptions about strippers.
pussy preach more sense than the fuckin government.
I want to break necks when people shade strippers. Let’s see your janky ass get out there and look that cute in 6 inch heels for 8 hours, smiling the entire time, stroking egos, pretending a dude’s breath doesn’t smell like a rotten animal.
My sister has a Masters in Education. She got a job at one of the poorest schools in the city, but didn’t make enough money to pay to keep her tiny house heated through the Oregon winter or buy enough food or take her dog to the vet (first person who drops the word rehome gets a kick in the face.) so she quit and the only job she could get because she’s “overqualified” to work at Fred Meyers was at a strip club because she minored in ballet. I think people forget that stripping is like any other job: you have to have some experience.
And all those crumpled one dollar bills? 20% of that goes back into the club because strippers are renting the stages they dance on. Sometimes it’s more.
Despite all of that, my sister makes more money than she ever did because she works 80 hour weeks and literally never takes a day off. She teaches classes to drunk white girls, she does private parties, she does entertainment for conferences and shows.
When I had to go to the ER last February and got a bill for $800 that I couldn’t pay, my sister sent me money so I wouldn’t be sent to collections.
My sister is the classiest motherfucker in a pair of six inch heels. Anyone who calls her a dumb slut or a hoe gets their shit wrecked.
that’s the best thing i ever just heard get said
SHIT LIKE THIS IS WHY LOGAN NEEDS TO DRINK SO MUCH
friendly reminder that if i have ever befriended you and have not spoken to you in a while it’s nothing you’ve done wrong it’s just because i’m a piece of shit at keeping in contact with people and i still love you okay good
Can we take a moment to appreciate rough and tough, super badass Dean and Sam, who’ve hunted hundreds of demons and monsters were always too nice to kill a deer?
well, duh, they know what it’s like to lose their mom…no way their killing bambi’s
GO TO THE FUCKING CORNER
IT IS 3 IN THE MORNING AND MY MOTHER JUST SENT ME THIS MY MOM IS NIGHT BLOGGING
BAREFOOT IN THE BATHROOM I REPEAT BAREFOOT IN THE BATHROOM HE IS BAREFOOT IN THIS BATHROOM THIS IS A CVS NOT A BEACH NOT YOUR HOUSE PEOPLE HAVE PISSED ON THIS FLOOR AND JESUS HAS DIED FOR YOUR SINS AND NOT SO YOU CAN BE BAREFOOT IN THIS BATHROOM
#one of those times when everyone (including steve) is like holy fucking shit this chick is brilliant#and like really fucking good at her job#and like wow now i see why she’s SHIELD’s top agent#i should let her run everything#she should be in charge#etc etc
#basically#can we also just not forget that had natasha not been on the lookout and seen rumlow on the escalator that would’ve been it#also i love how this is one of the more perfect examples of spy vs soldier#steve is used to reacting#his first instinct is to engage and think about how he can phyically defend himself in a fight#natasha is used to acting#her first instinct is to figure out the best way to hide and be stealth and quietly play the game#because for as much as the black widow likes to draw people into her web (see: bucky on the causeway) she plays it quiet 90% of the time#which is basically her strength and what makes her so good at what she does
Let’s take this
and put it in
yes??? Nintendo, are you taking notes?
Real life. The concept you’re thinking of is going outside.
yeah ok buddy I’m just gonna step outside and go talk to my neighbour the talking cat. the fuck kind of real life are you living?
Don’t do acid, kids.